The Canary

I have been wishing for some inspiration for a new blog entry but I didn’t expect this.  I have been busy the last few months with the fall garden and being a caregiver for my husband who went through his fourth major surgery in the last two years.  I have been feeling really well except for some aches and pains that came with chopping wood, raking leaves and performing my bodywork sessions for others.  That was, until today.

Today I awoke before I was ready but got out of bed as I was unable to sleep even though it had only been six hours.  I couldn’t breathe due to the congestion in my nose, my upper back hurt even though I had not done anything physical over the preceding 48 hours, I had a dull headache and I was sick to my stomach.  These were familiar feelings, but they used to be the aftermath of a night of drinking alcohol. 

Two years ago a blood test revealed that my body could not handle the ingredients in the beverages that I had frequented and so this year’s Christmas celebration was alcohol free.  So since it wasn’t the alcohol that was making me feel this way, what was it?  As I reviewed my previous day’s food and drink consumption I realized that I had ingested more sugar and simple carbohydrates than usual.  At the time it seemed as if I was making better than usual decisions; drinking sparkling fruit juice instead of soda or alcohol and using organic sugar with raw goats milk in the organic coffee; dinner was wheat and dairy free even if it was a bit high in simple carbohydrates; dessert was a small piece of raw brownies with caramel frosting which used dates, maple syrup and coconut oil for sweeteners; but then the ‘dessert’ continued.  As we relaxed and watched television I continued eating over the next four hours: another small raw brownie; two large pieces of chocolate candy; another sparkling fruit juice; and a large serving of sweet potato chips. 

Except for the chocolate candy these were all better choices then I once would have made but the shear quantity of simple carbohydrates that I had eaten had obviously overwhelmed my system.  It is the only thing that could account for my symptoms.  Back in the day I would have taken some OTC pain-killers and drank some milk or Pepsi to help myself feel better.  But now that I know: about the problems with masking pain, the health concerns surrounding cow’s milk and how even diet soda depletes my body instead of adding anything to it; what was I going to do?  Nothing, I decided. I would just be with it.

As the day wore on I found that I was not interested in doing a thing.  Even though I had made myself a list a few days ago and knew exactly what I wanted to accomplish today I did not have the mental or physical capacity to do much more than the simplest of things: unload the dishwasher, water the garden, shell the dried beans.  As I sat outside in the sunshine, which I seemed to crave, I realized along with the physical manifestations I was experiencing, I was feeling depressed. 

Was it the self-recrimination I was going through for doing this to myself, or the fact that I was being so obviously affected by my eating choices while my husband who had eaten all of these same things, according to his report was unaffected?  Was it my frustration at a society that places such an emphasis on pleasure and fulfilling our wants that we are willing to risk our physical, mental and financial selves or the fact that I am encountering many people that sweep under the rug their health issues, thereby not helping others to avoid the same pitfalls or making their own problems worse by trying to ignore them?

I decided that since I seem to be the canary in this mine I wasn’t going to go down quietly and so I went into the house and wrote this blog. I have decided that the depression that I was experiencing, something I have battled with ever since I was a teenager, was due to both my physical as well as my mental condition.  Three days later I am happy to report that I am back to my new happy self.  As I reflect on this blog from this place of balanced blood sugar I realize that had I not changed my diet, I may have never left the world of depression.  And Big Pharm is NEVER going to tell us that!